Road. Rage

I have never been pulled over by the police in my life. 
Because of this fact, (in my mind) I have ruled the streets of Santa Barbara. I could speed, bump my loud girly music, drive with a tale light out, accelerate through yellow lights; you know what I mean. You either have one, of two mindsets about this type of thing. 
a. it has never happened, so it is bound to happen sometime soon.
or b. it has never happened, so maybe it never will!
Don't worry Mom (because I know what you're thinking even all the way in maui)
I'm not reckless or anything, but in my dream-world mind, Cops just didn't exist. 


Saturday was one of the best pre-summer days I have had. We all went to Miramar beach around 12, paddle boarded, ate Cheez Its, swam, played volley ball, experienced all the good beach activities until around 4. And if it couldn't get any better, a friend was having a big burrito dinner party that night with all of our buddies. 
I LOVE social night gathering that someone else plans. You feel me on this? I am a huge planner and organizer of events, always wanting people to gather and conquer (because any time spent with good friends is the best time!) But my biggest let down is when I plan this grandiose deal, and either no one texts me back, or I show up along with one other person. So when someone else takes the burden of planning, I am there. 
"Cupcakes is what I will bring. Cupcakes and burritos.... yea perfect."
So I make the 30 cupcakes, frosting, raspberry and all, and load up my car. I'm late of course, so I'm joyfully jammin on the 101 with my music and positive attitude. 


"La la laaaa yea yea yeaaaaa. Op red lights. Wow they're really flashing....No.  No way is this guy coming for me. Maybe if I change lanes he just wants to get by. (Change lanes) OMG nope he's definitely pulling me over. Oh no."


Okay. If this moment ever did come, I always envisioned me balling my eyes out, handing the man my license and registration without heaps of cupcakes around me. But here it finally is. The moment I would interact with governmental authority. 


At this point I am pulled over right next to Fairview. Feeling like a complete criminal with all of those bright lights on me. Utterly embarrassed, wondering how many of my friends are buzzing by my car laughing. And am scrounging for my license amongst the closet of clothes in my back seat. 
"You were fully speeding Jenna. Awesome, this is it. This is your time. Just keep your cool."
I am FRANTICALLY retracing my thoughts onto where my bloody license is (so I can be semi prepared before this man starts interrogating me).
Then it hits me. I left my whole wallet in Kelly's car while we were at the beach. Cool nothing to show for myself except for my talent of baking, which will do nothing for me. 


Oddly I'm not crying at this point, and am actually kind of excited to be really nice to this police man, despite my fate. 


(window rolled down)
"Hi Sir.."
-"I pulled you over because your left tale light is out." 
my thoughts: Oh my Jesus, you really love me.
"YES YESS it is!" (over joyed that was his only reason for pulling me over).
-"So you knew about this?"
"Yes. Yes I did, I'm sorry." 
-"Looks like your providing dessert for some get together tonight?" He says, as he eyes all my cupcakes with his extremely bright flash light. 
"Ha yes I am. Not trying to smooth talk you or anything...but would you like one? They're actually pretty good....???"
-"It's against the law for me to accept anything."
"Oh. right. Yea I guess that makes sense... my apologies."


And so our lovely conversation went on. With me giving him all my information, finger prints, and smiles. And him leaving me with a fix-it ticket, excusing the extra fine of driving without a license, and the end comment. "You are really nice." 


I drove away with the feeling of experiencing a very successful pull over. 
And now I am convinced that THEY ARE ALL OUT TO GET ME. It might be a bit healthier though because now I am very cautious, looking around each corner.... and frantically reacting to any sound of a honk, screech, bird, etc, expecting the lights of doom haha. 


But this interaction just confirmed my thoughts. That people are very pleasantly surprised by someone showing them simple love. I am convinced that showing extra amounts of love to everyone you come in contact with, is the wisest and best action. It's this type of love that goes beyond circumstances and the emotion you might be feeling at that moment, that really makes people think and plants a little seed in their soul. 


Drive responsibly, Love outrageously. 

pickles

It has been a while, and I apologize.

Life has been so simple and good I just don't have much to talk about! 

Did you know that our brains don't fully develop until age 25? 

Did you know that owning a cat makes your whole apartment smell different, no matter how clean you are?

Did you know that an owl can hear a mouse step on a twig 75 ft away?

Did you know that red flags aren't pink, they're red!

Did you  know that pickles are cucumbers?

Did you know that your heart beats over 100,000 times in one day without you even thinking of it?

Did you know that love is patient and kind. It is not jealous, or boastful, or proud, or rude. It does not demand it's own way. It is not irritable and keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice over injustice, but rejoices whenever the truth wins. Love never gives up, never looses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance? 

Now you know. 

Twice a week at the Elementary school I work for, I get to be out with the kids at lunch time. So we play for 15 minutes and then eat for 15 minutes, and once all the little classes have migrated into their little pods to eat with their friends, I can't help but sneak over by the Kindergarten boys and just listen to their conversations. I just sit there pretending to be a fly on the wall and OH MY, I hear the funniest things. 

But one day I was feeling creative and asked them.

"Hey boys, what do you think love is?"

-"Umm... your heart?"

-"Love is God!" (bingo)

-"I think love is um, your spirit."

Me: " Wow yes, yes I love those answers. But now I'm wondering how you show someone that you love them?"

-One boy shouts out, "make them a card!!!"

-Another, "you share kisses." hahahahhaha (they all thought that was great)

-"Um, you like make them a cake when it's not their birthday or they're not celebrating anything."

-the final toe headed boy said, "YOU DO A BACKFLIP WITH A BASKET BALL, AND THEN A SLAM DUNK!!!"

Clearly everyone has different views on what love looks like :)

GOOD NEWS

Sofia (my cat) and I are in love. Yes the road was very rocky at the beginning and I had my fair share of doubts. But something shifted, and she likes me. Yahoo the endless comedy acts paid off and she comes around :) 
But then I was stuck in this pickle! 
"Okay so she likes me, and isn't under the couch 24/7. And I love her and am considerably attached at this point.. so what do I do?!? This feline will live for at least 15 more years...should I look for another family who is more stable?!? Is my little apartment big enough??! Oh the decisions..." 
So I started praying over this life changing commitment, and the little ball of fluff so dear to my heart. 


And then we had a moment. Sofia was lying on my bed, looking into my eyes with her beyond adorable, whiskered face and my heart welled up with such love I literally bent down to her eye level and said. 
"I love you. And I am committed to this friendship/relationship/love bond, no matter what it takes."
She meowed, and stretched, and it was set in stone. Peace and joy filled the room and my heart. End of story. Now you get to enjoy never ending pictures and stories of ma baby. 


Secondly, I GOT A NEW BIKE. 
The reason I am even sharing this, is because of my last post about Mrs. Mexican and the heart break she brought me. 
This is my life... don't you love it? You get to embark on the crazy adventures of hearing about my cat, my bike and my Jesus.... Haha good enough for meeeee. Anyways my new girl runs like a champ and has a basket and everything. I barely drive my car any more and its' amazing. She has fulfilled every bike fantasy I could have asked for. Thanks for all your support. 


Today I am going to a wedding, and I am giddy with excitement. 
Attending weddings should be my job. 
If I had a dollar for every beautiful white dressed ceremony I have been to/ sung at, I would have too much money for my own well-being. 
But I love them all the same! 
Because of the simple fact of me being a girl, the giddiness comes from having something to get dressed up for, going to an event centered around LOVE (can't get any better) and me being able to fantasize about my own future wedding 3/4th of the time. 
"Oh! loooove those flowers! Mine will probably be a shade lighter with some pink... Oh my the venue is to die forrrrr. Awh look at how he's looking at her! I wonder if my man will look at me the same way... wait...maybe he's here.... " blah blah blahddy blah the gushing goes on. But we women do it, whether you can openly admit to the fantasizing, or not. 


Can you imagine for a second that you find the. man. of. your. dreams. and marry him. (or the woman, to the men reading this blog.)
He is the apple of your eye and you are his. The ceremony is perfect and the vows that come from his lips are more than you could have asked for. 


The months after are good, and then you fall into a deadly spiral that you never ever imagined you ever would. He remains your everything, but he seems to be consumed in his own world, moved into another room, and when he comes to you the conversation goes something like this:
" Hey honey.. I know we haven't talked in a couple days.. But I just want to start with saying that I love you and you are so beautiful.. Um do you think it would be possible to have you make my favorite spaghetti tonight, with that spicy tomato sauce I like? That would make my day sooo much better. And maybe you can start wearing that one perfume I like again, so that when we do cross paths I enjoy the scent? And if you wouldn't mind cleaning up my room because I created this huge mess and really need your help straightening it out. Yea, okay, I think that's all for now. Great! See you later then, love you!!"


This would break your heart because your undying love for him hasn't changed. It would be devastating if he was verbally saying he loved you, and instead of equally giving you his life in return, was asking you to do things just to make his life better knowing you loved him so much. 

Even when our love is sincere we can so easily fall into a relationship like this with Jesus. (I share this because I have been so convicted about my own relationship with Him)
We have all heard this type of sermon many times, but we need to because we as lame humans do this! We create this false idea of how we want Jesus to be. Our sweet little blue pill we take as a daily supplement. An add on to our lives, the way we choose to live them. Instead of treating him as the true Messiah who deserves absolutely all of us. (for those of you at adorn last night, this was PERFECTLY put by Lazo)


"God it would be so sweet if you could just do this! Make this happen! My life would just come so perfectly together!" 
" Lord it's been a while I know.. But I really need you to straighten this out for me."


If it's devastating for us to think about this happening to our husband/wife, its 100000 times more heart breaking for God who loves us without measure. 
He loves us more than to let us settle for a mediocre,  slot machine relationship with Him. 


Think about this today. He is always and forever over the moon for you. 

the funny thing is...

Happy Valentine's Day to the few beloveds who actually read my blog :) <3
I know the Love Day rightfully deserves it's own blog entry, but I have too much to say, and absolutely nothing to say on the matter, that I just can't express to you at the moment. When it all sorts through my head, I will write. But that time is not now. My apologies.


Today was the day. 
The day I would find the cheap, yet perfect beach cruiser of my dreams. 
The one that would romance me along the streets of downtown Santa Barbara, ride me through the (soon coming) warm summer breeze, who's wheels would turn as I whistles a merry high pitched song, and who would gladly drop me off and be waiting for me patiently as I sipped my afternoon latte. 


Yes these were the honest day dreams that came along with this new bike I'd find today. 


Here's how it began. 
Cota Street + walking to State = bike would be better, faster
Easy enough.
Bank Account + 500 dollar shiny new bike... = Craigslist. 


I have become a firm firm believer in buying goodies off craigslist. So many treasures, and so much crap. 
So I'm browsing the bike listings at work and no joke one add was titled:
KICK ASS BIKE!!!! 
Sorry but I couldn't resist. It was this old school, really odd looking thing for 50 bucks so I texted the guy (Tony was his name, HA) The bike was still available.


"Okay, okay, cool so that's an option. I mean 50 bucks... hard to beat."
But then I wake up this morning with Craigslist still my back pocket option, but why risk my chances, I want to nail this and get a sweet cruiser, and be riding it TODAYYYY.
So I pop to Walmart (generic but cheap). Nothing catches my eye, too much ugly pink and sparkly red. 
Next I look at 4 different shops downtown. Way to pricey! Just because I live in SB doesn't mean I'm a millionaire  like the rest of them. 


"Welp.. O well Jenna, you tried today, and just didn't find it. We're gunu keep being patient and wait till the perfect baby comes around."
Ps. I seriously talk to myself like this. This isn't just blogging, this is real life. When no ones around I am still speaking. 


So I am at peace, and heading to the pool, when Tony calls. Saying if I want his bike I need to get it now. 


Can we just talk about how shady Craigslist can be real quick??
You start talking to this bizarre stranger, and agree to meet them wherever they are, to pick up some life belonging of theirs. It's seems rare when you pull up to a nice normal looking house, and after hearing Tony's voice on the phone I started praying for my safety. I'm not even kidding! 
BUT I STILL WANT A BIKE! So I get 50 bucks in cash and start praying as I drive to Palm Street to meet Tony. 


I was right, this guy seemed like the next freaky looking Craigslist killer. So I looked at the bike,
(Tony custom made it, iron swirly handle bars, mexican blanket covering the huge seat, bells hanging off the sides, the whole 9 yards. "Ehh kinda odd.. but original. I mean Ima pretty original girl right?? Yea I can rock this" I thought) gave him the 50 bucks and bounced the heck outta there. 


I'm stoked! I'm driving away singing, sending out texts to family, on cloud 9! I have a cool original bike that was extremely cheap!!! I named her Mrs. Mexican... for good reason. 
After day dreaming of her, and our upcoming adventures at the pool, I buy some army green spray paint (to freshen her up), a tarp for the rain, and a really good lock. I'm just doing it all. 


I pull up to my apartment itching to test drive her. 
The. moment. of. truth. 
I am laughing out loud right now thinking about what actually happened here, and how I can never accurately describe this to you. 
This bike weighs like 500 pounds with all of good ol' Tony's detailing, so pulling it out of my car is already a bad start. 
Then I get on it, the mexican seat is so wide my feet hardly touch the street. Then I start peddling but am sitting too far back on this 2 foot long seat that my feet can't peddle. So I am literally wobbling on this thing convinced that the whole word is witnessing. 
Talking to myself "Whoaaa okayyyy, whoooaaaa this is weird." 
I see a man sitting in his car watching me and my embarrassed laugh comes out with a face that's communicating, are you seeing this?! get  a load of me on this crazy bike. hahahaaaaa super funny right cus I'm actually a good bike rider and you'd never know!!!


Okay I stop. Get a hold of myself, and try again with my whole body much closer to the handle bars. And my feet actually can peddle!
"Oh my gosh, okay yes!! here we gooooo!" 
I'm doing it, and the simple feeling of riding a bike without the risk of serious injury is relieving.
I'm up to a pretty good speed here, and then want to stop to turn around. There are no handle breaks, so my feel automatically reverse the peddles to break. 


There are no breaks. 
There are no breaks. 
Not only does this machinery ride way weirder than it looked, but there are no breaks. 


My feet slam down onto the pavement and start to slow my speed, and the sad/pissed thoughts begin to enter my head.
Oh just a minor detail Mr. Tony forgot to mention. Fantastic. This will never do, riding along the busy streets of downtown. Should I have asked him if it had breaks? Isn't that kind of a given? Gosh how dumbb! Now I'm left with this hunk of junk and still don't have my dream bike. The regret of not buying the shiny purple one with the cup holder and NEW BREAKS entered my head. 


There is no happy ending yet. 
Moral of the story, please learn from me, and when you buy something off Craigslist bring a full blown check list of questions. Test drive, test drive, test drive until the seller makes you come back. 


Donations of cool beach cruisers welcome. 

Who owns who...

My sister and her husband Dane have finally left me for the great unknown of Spain. And have also left me their cat,  Sophia. 


The transition from Auntie to Mom all happened within an hour. I woke up that morning a normal 21 year old girl, and went to bed fully responsible for a feline. But I'm up for the challenge. I mean how difficult can it really be? 


There's no denying I am a definite dog lover.  They're forever loyal, always joyful and show you constant affection. Even if you work at Burger King, or when you gain a couple pounds after the holidays. 


 But can't someone just love them both?? 


The thought of a little creature doing who knows what at my apartment all day while I'm at work gives me an odd form of excitement along with much anxiety.


But this little kitten is like no other. She isn't the "I wanna snuggle with you always" kind of cat. 
She is very shy so far, and doesn't know what to make of me yet. As of now I'm just that annoying freak with the bun who talks her ear off in an annoying voice. 


You should see me, I went to Petco today straight after work and bought all the latest cat gear. 
Im talking pet mouse, pine scented natural cat litter, cute feeding bowls, food, everything. 
Along with that, every time I step into my apartment I turn into a constant comedy act. Dancing, singing, sweating, pulling out EVERY move I have, just waiting for her to crack and fall deeply in love with me. 


But she just stares. With that "really. thats all you got" kinda stare. 
Which leaves me storming out of the room saying. "Forget it! Just forget it. You know what? I really don't care! I love you Sophia but I am NOT playing these games anymore!" 
...While my head is still secretly peeking around the corner in hopes that she's following me... 


It's so pathetic. My "people pleaser" fault even comes out in these situations. Why doesn't she love me? What do I need to change? I can woo people muchhh easier than I can woo cats. haha


But with all that said, she's a looker all right. She had me at hello the first time I looked into her huge, green eyes. 
She treats my tiny apartment like it's her own jungle. It's like an action film watching her get from one side of the room to the other with her dodging, running, and creeping.


She's a snuggle buddy, and someone I can vent to about my day with no interruptions (huge bonus). And when she does actually let me pet her, I'm on cloud nine. 


I know this is only the beginning of the adventures with the new addition to the family. And I will keep  you guys posted on our relationship status. I know she has undying love for me deep in her heart, no doubt about it. It's only a matter of time...






sincerely Jenna and Kitzer <3

carrots aka no fear

people come and people go. 

You have to walk along the dirt road with your hands fully open. Joyfully receiving people as they walk along side you, and joyfully sending them off when the fork in the road comes. 

My sister and her husband bought a one-way ticket to Spain and last night was their good-bye party. 

It would be a cozy dinner with close friends in a warm house and I of course was excited to bring a dessert to brighten the spirits!

Jenna: "Bean!(what i call her) What about a yummy cheese cake for tonight!?"

Jillie: "Ohh yumm! Hmmm or maybe like a carrot cake with really good frosting?"

Jenna:"Yess... Or like a lemon type cheese cake. Like half lemon bar half cheese cake?!"

(ps. We have this really sweet and loving way of talking out our disagreements and desires. It's super cute.)

Jillie: "Ohh that could be good. Or just like a really good dense carrot cake."

Jenna: "...Settled. You're the one leaving. You will eat carrot cake."

For some odd reason in my mind, and I'm convinced, in all of society. Carrot cake has a bad rep of being a really hard cake to pull off. As you can see in the conversation above this false fact was making a big appearance in my mind. 

But I knew this was clearly my time, to prove to myself and all of you that carrot cake is no big thang. And quite delicious. 

There are many many different recipes available through foodgawker.com, pinterent, google, you name it, you can find it! But I was looking for a simple and perfect one. I compared many and decided that I would trust Paula Deen's recipe haha. Here it is: 

Cake-

2 cups AP (all purpose) flour

2 cups sugar

2 teaspoons baking soda

2 teaspoons ground cinnamon

1 teaspoon salt

4 eggs

1 1/2 cup vegetable oil

3 cups grated carrots

1 1/2 cup chopped pecans (optional) 

Frosting-

2 8oz packages of cream cheese

1 stick salted butter

1 teaspoon of vanilla

1 lb powdered sugar

So lets go through this beyond easy cake:

-You know the drill, turn on your oven to 350 and get out the appropriate ingredients and equipment.

-Cakes: It's all about making that beautiful batter, and what really helps this is having room temperature ingredients. Will it kill you if their not? No! But rule of thumb is they should be because an evenly warmed batter is more congruent than one with cold chunk of butter and cold eggs.

So pull those eggs, butter and cream cheese out ASAP!

-Combine all your dry ingredients into one bowl. Flour, salt, soda, sugar, cinnamon.

-Again, other recipes may have pineapple and other fun ingredients, but this one is simple and sweet. The most difficult step is grating those carrots. Use your preference and grate these the size you want. (Maybe not huge chunks so that your eating a salad) but you have free will here, so grate as you please. Add raisons, coconut, nuts, diamonds, ANYTHING YOU WANT.

- Once your carrots are ready, add the rest of your wet ingredients into your dry bowl. Carrots, oil, and eggs. 

They say the longer this batter sits aka flavors combine the better! So if your super woman and plan to make this ahead of time, that's amazing. 

 

• 
  -Pan these beauties up. I oiled my pans and floured them to ensure NO sticking. And did two rounds in two heart shaped pans. 
• -This recipe calls for 40 minutes of time, but I set mine for 30 and checked from there (naturally :)) I wanted mine nice and moist. 

 -While these treasures were baking I combined my softened butter and cream cheese for the frosting. Gosh people just GUSH over cream cheese frosting, and for good reason. Carrot cake must have its cream cheese partner, no question. 
-Once those are nicely creamed add that vanilla and powder sugar. Frosting is always a look, taste, test, for me personally. I never seem to get it perfectly right from directly following the recipe. 

I just get it to exactly the texture and taste that I want! This may require adding more powder sugar and milk. The more you do it, the better you get. 

- As you can see, I stacked my 4 layers with a medium layer of frosting in the middle.(I like the rustic look of not frosting the sides, so I didn't)

-An amazing trick that I always use when I stack outrageous layers of cakes is either sticking straws or wooden skewers into the cake. I measure the height of the cake by just holding my straw next to it and cut the access. Sticking these directly into the cake (through all the layers) will hold them all in place and no one will ever knowwww

You will just be the magical baker who created it, decorated it presented it. 

They don't have to know about the skewers. Or that you were screaming hysterically during the car ride over because your carrot baby almost fell and died 5 times,and you already suffer from killed cake trauma. 

Nope, a magician never reveals her secrets :)

There is no fear in carrot cake, absolutely none. 

Today I had the privilege of spending all day with some pre-schoolers, at the school I work for. 
To some of you this sound like a big pile of unwanted mayhem. Too much creativity and high pitched voices, but to me the giggles, story reading, and constant affections are a treat (since I am studying to become a pre-school teacher).


We spend a good period of the day outside on the play ground and in the sand box. Where we create many different types of "sand soup" (chocolate and marshmallow are the most common), and dig for shiny treasure. Everything out here is pretty expected (and when I say expected I mean you ready to hear and see everything unexpected. From the adorable statements to the  hilarious role play). 


But today something actually unexpected happened. As I was walking to and fro keeping my eye on all the little bungalows (my word for kids), an adorable blonde-haired girl jumped in a plastic car (the old school red and yellow one) and began to peddle her way toward me. 
"Well excuse me! When did YOU get a new car?!?" I exclaimed (in my perfect teacherly voice) as I bent down to meet her eye level. 
Instead of the cute giggle I expected, she stared me straight in the eye, held my gaze for about 5 seconds, and said in the lowest, most serious voice I've ever heard come out of a 3 year old.  
"This is my space car,, and I can shoot you dead any second. If I push this red button (the plastic horn) you WILL explode." Without even a smile she kept my gaze, pushed the red button and peddled away. 




If a boy had done this, I wouldn't have even given it a second thought. But since it was coming from the mouth of miss pig tails held with red ribbons, I just looked at her wide-eyed, trying to muster up something teacherly to say. I just laughed and thought, "where the heck did she pick that up."


Did you know that they children around you, really pick up the things you do, and words you say?


This morning I had a little girl follow me like a shadow and repeat every word I said. It was literally like an echo. 
"Okay it's time to wash our hands before snack."--"Wash our hands before snack!"
"Mmm I love crackers."--"I love crackers!!" She would look at me so excited as she repeated. 


We assume that children don't understand the "grown up" things we talk about, or  hear our negative tone of voices, but they do! And they repeat it! 
Children see. Children do. 
I don't even have younger siblings but as I 'm working with children I 'm learning so much. We have an incredible  impact on who they become. 


"If I push this red button... you WILL explode."